Loss, Love, & Life

First of all, I want to start this out by honoring and remembering my angel baby. I haven't been able to open up about this because I wasn't sure how to go about it in the right way, but Mack and I suffered a loss in February. I only knew I was pregnant for less than two weeks and we never got to see a heartbeat and it was very early, but going through a miscarriage was one of the hardest and most painful things I've ever been through. It's something that so many experience and a lot of times are afraid to talk about it - for fear of making people uncomfortable or because they feel like nobody would understand that we still feel immense loss. No matter how tiny my baby was, no matter how short a time we knew, no matter how early we were in our journey - I still felt grief. We've had time to heal now, but I never want to hide the fact that we lost a baby. I've struggled with letting my miscarriage rob me of joy in my current pregnancy, and I'm not sure if I'll ever quite move past that crippling fear, but I've finally allowed myself to get excited about our rainbow baby and I'm so thankful that we have this chance to grow our family. I recently came across a verse that touched my heart deeply and I've been applying it to my life as much as possible.

Our lives have been a beautiful journey and I wouldn't trade any of our experiences for the world. I'm so thankful that we're being given this opportunity to fill our hearts with love for a new child to go along with the love we have for the one we lost.

We're so excited to be celebrating a new addition to our family and I'm so glad to finally share it with the world, although it still doesn't feel 100% real! I'm almost 15 weeks and I've finally started to feel normal again. Since early on in my pregnancy, I've had food aversion and hard time eating as much as I should. That gradually progressed to nausea and then on to throwing up and struggling to eat and drink enough. Two weeks ago I was sent to the hospital for an overnight stay due to dehydration and starvation. It sounds so ridiculously dramatic and I felt stupid and maybe like it wasn't really that bad and that maybe I wasn't trying hard enough to eat and drink. But I think it was a good thing. I had a couple bad days shortly after that, but as of the past week or so I've felt amazing and like a human being again. I guess the second trimester starting really is an amazing thing! Hopefully it's smooth sailing from here on out. I've known how I wanted to announce our little Baby McCartney for a while now and I'm so so so happy with how our photos turned out. Here are a few more, thanks to my sweet best friend who took them for us!


So thankful for this man and this baby and this life.

DIY Boxwood Topiary

So lately I've been really wanting one of those super cute topiaries I see everywhere. Y'know, the one with the single round greenery orb at the top, looks adorable sitting next to a tv or really anywhere. They also cost about a zillion dollars everywhere I look (okay, so maybe like $30 but still too much for my cheap butt). The other day while I was browsing around Hobby Lobby for the third time this week....I found this boxwood ball on sale for about $2.50. Boom. A thought occurred to me. Maybe there's a way to make a topiary myself? I promptly pulled out my phone and began browsing Pinterest. I found a tutorial almost immediately and decided yes, I could do it. I gathered up the rest of my items and headed home after purchasing an overflowing cartload of 80% off home decor. I was too excited about my project to take many pictures, but you can find a really good tutorial with pictures here at AKA Design.

What You'll Need:

  • Some sort of greenery ball. I found this one at Hobby Lobby on sale for $2.50ish, but they can be found at any craft store and likely even a Dollar Tree
  • A dowel rod.
  • Grapevine wire. This can be found in the floral arrangement section of a craft store
  • Some sort of pot. I went ahead and got a pretty small terra cotta pot and it cost me a couple bucks.
  • Hot glue gun & glue sticks.
  • A bag of moss. Again. Any craft store. I saw this in Dollar Tree as well!
  • A piece of foam that will fit down into your pot.

How to Make It:

1. Hot glue your piece of foam into the pot. This will serve as the base for your dowel rod vine/stick

2. Wrap grapevine wire around the dowel rod. There's no need to glue at this point. Since it's wire, it will stay in place without additional fastening. Leave some space uncovered by wire at the bottom and top of the rod so that you can poke either end into the foam and the ball.

3. Poke the dowel rod into the foam. Mine didn't end up perfectly secure, so you can squeeze some hot glue around the rod at the entrance point if you want.

4. Cover foam with moss. I applied hot glue, squished down a layer of moss, and repeated until I felt like there was a good amount and the foam was completely covered.

5. Apply a generous amount of glue to the top of the dowel rod and poke it into the greenery ball. This part didn't go perfectly for me either, but I made it work. Try to make sure the glue is touching as much of the greenery as possible and hold it in place until it cools. You may need to add some additional glue after the first batch has cools for added security.

6. Display your cutesy new topiary! I put mine on our dresser at one end of our tv, but once we're back in our own home I will probably display it in our living room.


Hope you guys enjoyed this and that it was easy to understand! I would love to see everyone's versions. Leave me a comment and let me know if you made it! Hope everyone is having a wonderful Thursday. You've almost made it to the weekend!